If you're like most people, you start a list of resolutions at the start of the new year. Some people don't like using the term "resolutions" because of the high rate of failure associated with them. So instead, people set some goals to accomplish in the new year. Or perhaps commit to have a better attitude about different areas in their life. No matter the approach, I think the majority of us see a new year and think of all the new possibilites that await us during the next 12 months. 

I love new years. I love Mondays. I love mornings. All of these things signal a new start, a do-over, another chance, a better day. So, in planning for my new year, I opened my new Passion Planner to start thinking about what I wanted to accomplish this year. I started to plan my road map and thinking about the different areas I want to improve in my life. Of course, my business and my health goals took top priority. But then I started thinking about all areas in my life and realized that I could improve on my relationship with my son. 

Be present more (get off your phone!)
Play more (say yes to his invitations!)
Improve our diet (say no to processed food!)
Keep the house organized (be ready for play friends!)

What about you? Did you make some goals for you and your family? Perhaps you want to connect more with your children. In our busy lives, sometimes we have to actually schedule in the time to put down our devices and be present with our kids. Does putting away your phone sound overwhelming? When you get home from work, are you just too exhausted to think about play time? Do you have the time but maybe can't think of activities to do? I hear this a lot from parents with infants. How do you come up with activities? 

I have the perfect activity for you to do. Massage! Massage is a simple, yet powerful tool to have at your fingertips. Massage has been shown to decrease stress in both the giver and receiver and it doesn't take very long to see these changes. Massage feels good and relieves pain and discomfort in the receiver. In infant massage, there is an increase in sensory awareness. Baby feels the massage while hearing your voice and seeing you and smelling you. Your whole family can participate. You can include stories and songs to keep your child entertained. Massage is an amazing!

Come learn how to massage your baby at one of my classes. The next class is scheduled for Saturday, January 21, 2017 from 9-10am at the Birth Haven Birth Center in Gilbert. See my website or Facebook page for more details on this event or other classes. 

As I sit to start to write this, it is a Monday morning. You know Mondays? The day that we all are going to start a new workout routine? Finally get a system to cleaning our house? Follow our meal plan and have dinner on the table every night at the same time? Take our child(ren) out on daily outings and prepare developmentally-appropriate activities throughout the week?

If you're anything like me, Monday soon turns into Sunday and you look back at the week and question "what the heck did I get done this week?" And your Sunday night conversation sounds a little like a locker room pep talk where the coach is pumping up the team to get out there and go get 'em! 

Sound familiar? 

If it doesn't and you have ticks next to every item on your do-to list consistently every week, then you might not want to continue reading. If the top item on your to-do list is to create a to-do list, then maybe you can relate to this post a bit more. 

When my son was younger, I came across this meme on the internet somewhere and it struck such a chord with me that I printed it out right away and posted it on my refrigerator. I'm sure you've seen it on Pinterest or Facebook: 

Yes! This is what I needed. A reminder that I don't need to feel like I accomplished nothing. After all, I have a lot of stuff going on and taking care of a baby is a lot of work! Who cares if the house isn't always picked up or we're ordering take out again? 

The problem was that while I, on some levels, could completely get behind this idea, I still caught myself getting down on myself for not doing enough. I'm a mostly stay at home/work part-time mom, so shouldn't I be cleaning, shopping for groceries, having dinner ready, engaging with my son all day, working out and eating well every day? 

With that laundry list (ugh! forgot to add laundry to the to-do list!) of things to accomplish every day, I would get overwhelmed and just not do anything on it. When I asked myself what I did that day, I didn't have an answer. Then I would feel guilty and get down again. It wasn't working for me. 

My husband and I follow a gentle approach to parenting. Empathy is at the core of our interactions with our son. Yet, I am far from gentle with myself sometimes, especially when it comes to getting things done. I am working on being kinder to myself and have a little more compassion. It doesn't mean that I am not going to keep working on goals and getting things done, but I am going to forgive myself for not being super mom every day. I can guarantee you that my son already thinks I am (despite the flaws he doesn't know about yet), and that is pretty awesome. 

Are you curious about what an infant massage class is like? Have you hesitated signing up for a class because you are unsure about what to expect? Never fear! I will walk you through a typical East Valley Infant Massage class. I adjust the content of classes, depending on the needs and requests of the current participants, but this is how most classes are run.

We have our classes on the floor, sitting in a circle to allow for free discussion and to be able to see the massage demonstration. Some of our classroom settings have cushions to sit on but I always recommend that parents bring anything they need to be comfortable on the floor. This is where knowing your baby is important. I know my son was never a big fan of lying on his back for a long period of time, but he liked being propped up on a Boppy or in his bouncy seat. Parents usually bring a blanket for baby, but some have also brought along an activity mat if that's what makes baby happy. If baby has a favorite lovey, feel free to bring that as well. 

I start to the class with some introductions and a question of the day. This helps parents relax a little and get to know the other families in class. Most of the time, the babies are around the same age, so it's nice to have a place to meet other parents who may be experiencing a lot of what you are, especially during the first few months of parenthood. 

We move to discussion about the benefits of infant massage, some tips for performing massage, or another topic for the day. I'm pretty flexible and like the free-flow of information, so I welcome questions or input from everyone at any time. I don't want the class to feel like a lecture, rather, I encourage an open discussion. 

After we do a relaxation exercise and ask baby for permission to massage, I demonstrate how to massage one area of the body while parents follow along, practicing on their baby. I have a baby doll for me to demonstrate the techniques, but I always bring extra so parents can practice on the dolls if their baby is sleeping or maybe a little fussy and doesn't want to participate at that time. 

Once we complete the massage portion of the class, we can include a variety of other activities for the remainder of the class. I demonstrate special routines to address common infant discomforts including digestive and congestion issues. We sometimes sing a song or read a story while applying massage techniques. My goal is to give you simple tools to take home and include in your daily routine without stress. I show you how it is possible to incorporate loving touch to help your baby through speed bumps and to strengthen your bond and attachment. I provide the oil and all handouts for you to take home and continue your practice. 

Some things to keep in mind:

• Some babies may fuss during class. This is 100% OK! There is no need to be embarrassed. We have all been there at one time or another. 
• Please tend to your baby at any time. This includes feeding, changing, walking, bouncing, or whatever else baby needs. I only ask that you stay in the room so you can still hear and see the instruction. 
• If you or your baby are sick at all, please stay home. Baby's immune system is still very new. We don't want to spread germs to others if we can avoid it. Make-up classes are available for illness. 
• Take your handouts home and practice whenever you can. Even a 20-second massage has been shown to be beneficial to you and baby. Don't worry about trying to dedicate a huge block of time to massage. Incorporate what you can throughout your day and add more strokes and areas of the body a little at a time. 

I'm always available for questions, before or after class. Email me anytime at michelle@eastvalleyinfantmassage.com. I want you to be confident in providing massage for your baby, so I am happy to do anything I can to help you get there. 

​I hope to see you in a class soon! 

This past Saturday, my son and I had the opportunity to experience another fun event at Vertuccio Farms in Mesa, Arizona. Vertuccio Farms is a family owned and operated farm that is well-known for its annual Fall Festival, as well as other events, including this Easter Egg-sperience event. Our family loves this farm and we try to attend all their events. 

There is so much to do at the farm, so we tried to get in as early as we could to take advantage of the all the activities before the egg hunt started. My son is a night owl, so getting him up early and out the door isn't always easy, but we arrived about an hour and a half before the hunt. Admission this year was $11 for children, although there was an advanced ticket sale price of $9. It is free for adults and infants to attend. This is helpful if you have grandparents or other family members who want to join and spend time with your children. They do also have a pancake breakfast and some food vendors on site for an additional cost, but Elliot only wanted to play and had no time to stop and eat anything! 

The farm offers a lot of fun activities for the whole family. There are two giant tube slides, a hay maze, peddle carts, tractor ride, a playground and farm animals to visit. Elliot's favorite activities, though, are the water pump duck races, the air pillow and the jump pad. 

11 AM. Time to start the egg hunt. They have 3 sections set up by age group. The farm capped off the event to 400 children to find over 10,000 eggs, so there were plenty of eggs to go around for everyone. Yet, you can sense the anticipation from everyone (mostly parents), trying to make a game plan for when the hunt begins. It was pretty calm, though. Nothing like the out of control hunt hosted by the PEZ candy company that was recently canceled due to poor parent behavior. Elliot was pretty happy with his loot!

The event ended at 1 and we decided to stay to the very end. Elliot spent most of the time switching between the air pillow and jump pad. With more families leaving, he had the chance to spread his wings and enjoy himself. He didn't want to leave. 

We had a great time at Vertuccio Farms. We are looking forward to going back again. They do host food trucks on Saturday nights through May and will have Peaches N Play at the end of May. I'm planning on going back for some good food and yummy peaches to make some pies soon. Make sure you visit their website and follow the farm on Facebook for more details on upcoming events. Thank you, Vertuccio family! We'll see you again soon!

One of my favorite things to do each morning is to check out my Facebook memories. There are apps like Timehop that will show you what you posted on Facebook on that day or you can click on "On This Day" in your Facebook menu. I think it's a lot of fun to see your old photos and reminisce. 

Of course, I take my trip down memory lane and a cute photo of my son makes me smile. He is an adorable kid, if I do say so myself. But the video that popped up the other day was the first time one of these memories made me cry.

In this video, I caught my son's first full walk across the floor on video. He had just turned 11 months old at the time and had taken a few steps here and there, but this was his first time going across the room. We were in Raleigh, North Carolina for a massage convention (I always try to take my husband and son with me to conventions so we can turn my work trip into a family trip as well) and we were just hanging out in our hotel room and he decided he wanted to start walking. He kept right on walking for the rest of the trip and never looked back. 

In the video, you can hear my son "talking" as he strolls across the floor and me cheering him on, with a "YES!" at the end of his walk. Hearing this again, 3 years later, brought up so many emotions for me. You see, I've always thought I wasn't a "baby person" because when I see my friends post pictures of their children when they were young and they say they get misty looking at them or even say they have baby fever, I never could connect with what they were saying. Most people I know yearn for the baby stage because it was so easy for them. Babies just sleep and coo and smile. At least that's what everyone tells me.

The truth for me is that the baby stage was the absolute hardest part for me in these 4 years of being a parent. I sort of always felt there was something wrong with me or my son because he wasn't the kind of baby who would sleep for long stretches (without movement or me wearing him) or be happy to go with anyone who wanted to hold him. I remember going on mommy meet-ups at restaurants and looking at other babies in disbelief because they could just stay in their mothers' arms or in their strollers and the moms could eat and be a part of the conversation. I would usually be standing behind my chair moving with my son because if I tried to sit, he would start to get really fussy. We used to go to a movie theater that had a baby-friendly showtime, where you could bring your baby and watch a grown-up movie. Every other baby there would sleep through the whole movie and their parents could sit and watch the show. We, on the other hand, were pacing the ramp with our Moby wrap for most of the movie.

It was hard. 

Looking back at it now, I know it was hard, but I think what the real issue was that I fell into the comparison trap. I felt there was a mold that my son wasn't fitting into. I thought I was doing something wrong. As my son grows, I can really appreciate his uniqueness. When you're in the middle of it, though, it's hard to see that. It's difficult, sometimes, to follow your instincts and care for your baby in the way only you know how. It's really challenging to enjoy the moment when that moment is keeping you awake in the middle of night or forcing you to frustratingly adjust your expectations. 

As my son grows, I am enjoying being his mom more and more. Each stage is more fun for us since he is so kind, smart, funny and just an all around cool kid. Watching this video, though, reminded me of just how much time really does fly and changes your perspective a bit. I finally had that wistful feeling that I thought I was lacking. 

We just celebrated his 4th birthday this past weekend. As he blew out his birthday candles, I thought about this video and it made me smile. We've had a lot of bumps along this road, but I know that with each one of his milestones (that he'll reach in his own time, or course), I will be there shouting "YES!" to cheer him on.